TELECOM ANNOUNCEMENT
2007 12 17
Telecom Forms Band With High School Friends, Cites "Pearl Jam Meets Chili Peppers" As Influences
Following on from yet another appearance at the Meredith Music Festival where they once again appeared all day Saturday and Sunday, somewhere between Bush Camp and Mulwaverly, hanging out with their friends, drinking beer and listening to the ipod on shuffle while yelling at passers-by "Hey look at us! We formed a band!", TELECOM are supporting actual Meredith players, band-formers and festival highlights ART BRUT (UK) at THE CORNER HOTEL this Wednesday December 19 at 8.30PM. Also performing will be the recent attendees of the Speigeltent, PLASTIC PALACE ALICE, though it should also be pointed out that they actually performed music inside the tent, and didn't just hang around at that bar that's outside drinking and hassling people on their way to The Art Centre. Tickets are $38 + booking fee.
Yours,
1927
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2007 10 30
Telecom Inducts Nick Cave's Moustache Into ARIA Hall Of Fame
TELECOM are a Melbourne 4 piece musical group influenced by The Beatles, Dylan going electric, Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five, Old Delta Bluesmen, the Tribal Rhythms of Africa, both Prohibition and The Spanish Inquistition, the forming of society, the birth of Christ, the invention of the wheel, the use of words to communicate and the first meeting of sperm and egg.
This Thursday November 1 they display their totally unique ecleticism with the totally unique use of 2 vocals, 2 guitars, one bass and added drums (with cymbals!) when they support PEABODY's Melbourne launch for their awesome new single "The Devil For Sympathy" at THE OLD BAR in Fitzroy. LITTLE ATHLETICS open the show at 9PM.
It's Devolution Baby.
Yours,
Keith Urban feat. John Butler
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2007 09 07
Telecom Bigger Than The Beatles, Jesus Disappointing Third
TELECOM are playing support to 78 SAAB and the launch of their critically-acclaimed new album The Bells Line. In their only Melbourne show, 78 SAAB will show why they once supported The Thrills, who once supported Oasis, who once supported The Rolling Stones, who once supported Kevin Bacon, who (probably) once supported The Beatles; so it just goes to show that you can create tenuous links pretty much any way you please. Does this mean TELECOM are equal to The Beatles?
In this reporter's opinion; perhaps.
With love,
Heather Mills
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2007 08 13
Telecom Seeks Custody of Kevin Federline
TELECOM has subpoenaed Kevin Federline with a summons indicating their intention to challenge for sole custody of the up-and-coming rap sensation.
To fund their legal battle, TELECOM will be playing a one-off gig this Thursday night August 16 at C'mon C'mon at The Evelyn. Also lending their support to the cause will be DIRTY PINK JEANS and THE EUROBEAT 3 The Doors open the show at 8.30PM.
Warmest regards,
Mary Hart
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2007 08 08
Telecom Leave The ABC
It's official. After 40 years and three industry-voted Gold Logie awards for best picture, and one for best supporting guitar solo in a lead role, TELECOM are leaving the ABC. From September they will star in a new Sunday night variety show on Channel Seven entitled The Foxification of Dame Edna co-hosted by Russell Gilbert as the comic icon Barry Humphries made famous.
Wish TELECOM well this Saturday August 11 at 9PM by joining them at Ding Dong Lounge for Weekender where they will be ably supported by visitors from the north MODULAR LOUNGE (SYD) and of course DJ's Steve Wide, Dan C and Nathan (Panic!), playing all the songs you love almost as much as Are You Being Served.
Are you free,
Mr. Humphries
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2007 08 01
Telecom Live Show To Enter Second Storey Stratosphere
Great Scott! TELECOM are all warmed up and adequately stretched to take their show to "The Next Level", and so are playing this Friday August 3 at 9PM up the one flight of stairs at Revolver. Yes, their amps are heavy, but so is the metaphorical weight of their material. Joining them will be SOMERSAULTS (formerly WINDOW, previously DOOR) and SKULL SQUADRON (SYD) for sentimental sojourns through their spicy and scandalous songs, probably some of which start with 'S'.
Irrevocably yours,
Hon. Kevin Andrews MP
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2007 07 11
Telecom Play Another Set of 6-10 Songs
Fresh from playing to 90,000 fans before the Bledisloe Cup at the MCG, TELECOM kick themselves into touch...ing more people with their oh-so-special brand of fast-paced Indie Pop Rock Soul music/passing rubgy this Saturday July 14 at BANG! at the Royal Melbourne Hotel. Feeding the scrum will be Sydney rockers THE SHAKE UP (SYD). $3 pots, $4.50 spirits, 5/8 hookers.
Sincerely yours,
Wayne Coyne
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2007 06 27
Telecom Gets Precious
TELECOM are playing a Very Special, Very Precious™ show this Thursday 28th June at 9PM at The Tote, special in that they will never play this set again, with the same between song banter, in the same order, with the same intensity, soul or skill. No, they're not retiring some of your favourite songs, they're simply going to play only their 'A' material, a feat which has never been attempted before to prevent the risk of 'over-pleasurisation.' The banter will remain. But caution, meet the wind because now all bets are off and this time it's personal. Joining them for this history making day will be the game-lifting fine harmony skill of TREETOPS, and hot newcomers CHASE EGO. So no longer will anyone come to a TELECOM show and say "Treetops? No Treetops? Why for no Treetops?"
Yours,
Rainier Wolfcastle
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2007 05 31
Telecom Divided By Two Carries the One Show This Sunday, Remainder to Heckle From Crowd
While some members are overseas trying to drum up press interest on the pavement outside NME's London office, high on coke and simply yelling out the band's name repeatedly, TELECOM are kinda pleased to announce a very-special-one-off-acoustic-mixed-with-reverby-electric guitars-with-also-added-sweet-harmonising-backing-vocals ROCK-SHOW, supporting DOG WITH WHEELS 6PM this Sunday evening at The Exford Hotel. TELECOM 's Darren and Nick, one half of the group and 100% of it's guitarists, will be sitting down, gazing out the window at the setting sun and contemplating the great beyond as they perform acoustic-scream-core-ballads about Mommy's heroin habit and how Daddy never played catch.
Yours sincerely,
John Butler's Butler Duo
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2007 04 24
Two TELECOM Sydney Shows This Weekend, Hell Partly Cloudy With Chance of Snow
Following their hugely successful performance on the first episode of Big Brother Australia 2007, during which they serenaded Gretel Kileen and Mike "Gold, Man" Goldman with their hits Maneater and Boys Light Up, TELECOM are happy to reveal that it's time to go... to Sydney! Again!
Turkey-slapping their way into S-Town, TELECOM will be hotter than Hot Dogs in the sauna for a Sandwich Club show at Candy's Apartment (location map) on Thursday, April 26 at 8pm, with LIONS AT YOUR DOOR (SYD) and the screamadelic, THE SCREAM (SYD). Boldly defying Sydney’s one-gig-per-calendar-year policy, TELECOM will then bum-dance into the Hopetoun Hotel (location map) on Friday, April 27, 8pm with THE SUITS (Frankston) plus CUTHBERT AND THE NIGHTWALKERS (SYD) and JOHN COLUMBUS (SYD) (the dude who sailed the ocean blue and later directed Home Alone).
Due to council noise restrictions, applause will have to be kept to a maximum 15db level. So pretend it’s Melbourne and talk to your friends/flick your fringe/have sex in the disabled dunnies/fold your arms/knit, but for god’s sake --- don’t applaud!
Yours sincerely,
Abe Froman
Sausage King of Chicago
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2007 04 17
Last TELECOM Show Until the Next One
After their very successful sold-out free shows at Federation Square to 3000 fans, in which they played crowd favourites Breaking The Girl and that John Butler song about uranium mining, TELECOM have surprised even themselves to announce one last show before indefinite hiatus from Melbourne's live-rock-scissor-kicking arena, a hiatus that will see them on hiatus until their next gig. 9PM Thursday April 19th at the Ding Dong Lounge (location map) sees them joined by ROYAL SALOON and THE CODEBREAKERS for the usual psychedelic light show, jaw-dropping bass lines and tongue-sticky-outy drum fills. Entry $6. Party!
With love,
that dude who bit Phoenix
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2007 03 28
Telecom Deliver Three Chords, The Truth, Garlic Bread In 20 Minutes or Your Money Back
TELECOM return from the hard life on the road to deliver three chords and the truth with a very special show this Saturday March 31st 9 PM at Bootleg at Geddes Lane. Incorporating a simpl(e)y stunning light show that's been tested in other states and territory, this will be Melbourne's first airing of the visuals that will have you spitting out your white wine spritzer and choking on your crystal methamphetamine pipe. Playing with Adelaide's FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE!, who just won the award for being the second best band in the world or something(TM), this promises to be one show that will long have you saying, "F*ck… I. Was. THERE." It will also be TELECOM's last show for a while before they head overseas for the South By Glastonchella In Rio Festival at Reading Showcase, so don't miss out.
Kind regards,
Joe Reckords
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2007 03 12
Telecom To Tour Sydney, Canberra, Parliament House Gift Shop
Melbourne Rock Band(tm) TELECOM are back-in-state this weekend following up from their successful show in Sydney last October, and are playing their FIRST EVER show in Canberra! Since releasing their debut EP Modern Adventures to high acclaim in August last year, TELECOM have been quite remiss in not stopping by to unleash some guitar solos in the face of the nation's capital, and feel a real down-low and dirty shame they have been so uncaring to those starved of Tele-rock. Sydney knows JUST how it tastes though. So despite unbucklings of belts and muffled burps, they have asked for second helpings, which will be served on Friday March 16 at Candy's Apartment in TELECOM's only Sydney show. TELECOM are supporting the launch for the DEAD FRENCHMEN's delicious new album Wonderland. Mmmm! Hot new Melbourne songstresseseseses TEKO open the show at 8PM.
However on Saturday March 17 at Transit Bar, Canberra can break their fast and also ask for the wine list as local hotshots THE ASHBURYS and FROM THE SOUTH support TELECOM's debut; their unveiling; and their only opportunity to make a first impression. Which means the stakes are high.
Yes my friends, steaks and pie.
Yours truly,
Brian Burke, Inc.
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2007 01 18
Last Witty Headline For Several Months Not Very Witty, Says Headline
TELECOM is back! Hang on... Aren't they the band that just had sold-out shows and a performance at the Reading Festival where they were described as "incendiary" and "the successors to Babyshambles as the greatest rock band of all time" by England's NME? Are they really going to play an intimate club show for fans at BANG! at the Royal Melbourne Hotel on Saturday January 20? With who? Sorry; with whom? THE CA$INOS? Aren't they the band that recently got back from opening for The Flaming Lips and Paul McCartney on the Californian leg of last year's Lollapalooza Tour? What's that you say? All of the above is exaggerations, impossible circumstances and outright lies made up by our overzealous press department? I find that hard to believe, seeing as TELECOM are in fact playing with THE CA$INOS at this Saturday's BANG! at the Royal Melbourne Hotel, 629 Bourke Street, Melbourne, and both bands are firm favourites to win things at this year's award-type-place. And after recently tucking themselves away in rehearsal studios to de-construct life, in order to re-construct songs that de-destruct souls, TELECOM are hot on at least 4 cylinders to play their last show for months, so don't miss this one.
Also, for those with access to the world wide radio in Melbourne, this Thursday January 18 Darren and Greg will be playing some of their favourite records on 90.7 SYN FM's Notes From The Underground from 2PM. For those not in Melbourne, streaming is available on the SYN FM website.
Kind regards,
The Publicist 3000
robotic hype machine and pasta maker
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2007 01 03
Early 2007 Early Bird Show Minus Monsters Named Martie, Daryl
TELECOM open a big year of rockin' out and knockin' out classic hit(s) with a show this first Thursday night in 2007, January 4 at the Ding Dong Lounge, which is in the city -- as seen on TV NYE! Joining them will be THE NEW BLACK and LA STRADA, so when you have a show this good for only $6, you don't really need some witty gimmick* to entice the people to come, do you? Listen: it's holidays, it's summer and your alcohol withdrawals from New Years are at their peak, so forget your troubles and come party!
*Special early-bird gig. Doors open at 7PM and bands on early for the school-going, adhering-to-business-hours, unable-to-forget-their-troubles, alarm-clock-fearing public.
Happy new year!
Regards,
Daryl Cotton
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