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2005 12 28

Telecom Play NYE at Ding Dong, Possibly Last Show for 2005

Does anyone wanna party? You like music? You wanna pick up some chicks and or dudes (nothing sexual)? Well who doesn't? It's NEW YEARS EVE again so you can forget your Summer Dayz, disregard your Two Tribes and don't even bother with the Espy, cos Ding Dong, Melbourne's BEST live venue (as voted by these guys I know) is puttin-on-the-Ritz with a big Weekender Show. We got The Gear, who will be soon off to South By Southwest in Texas to show how they do it ol' skool and more importantly (because I'm in 'em) we got TELECOM, in what could possibly be their last gig of 2005.

Prices are $20 pre-sale (available from Polyester Records Fitzroy and Ding Dong) and $25 on the door and considering the price of getting into holes like your local Irish Pub, this is a bargain. Tickets are selling fast, and to cap it all off, Ding Dong's open til 7am. TELECOM on at the princely time of 8:30 in the PM.


Kind Wishes from the Lord Of the Manor, the King of the Castle,
HRH Nick Telecom I

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2005 12 19

Telecom Get All Yule-Tide On Yo' Bad Self, Implore Mo' Fo's to Cha'mon

TELECOM have two shows this week, but don't go telling just anyone. Firstly they play Wednesday December 21 at Ding Dong Kashmir Nights for what may well be the last time, with (deep breath...) THE LUXXOR REVENGE, SLEEP PARADE, SOJOURN, GOODBYE MOTEL and NOT TOO FAR and DJ Fuck'Off. TELECOM on stage, say 10.30 in the PM (potential patrons should be advised that upon entry you will again be asked to nominate the specific band you have come to see. Just. Say. "TELECOM").

THEN, they also play Saturday Christmas Eve (nothing religious) at The Public Bar with WINDOW and TIC TOC TOKYO. And you know when we said it may be the last time TELECOM play at Ding Dong and also that we'd kill you last? We lied. Ding Dong NYE 2005/6 Party Music Time Jagshemash I like you, do you like me? Pepsi Max.

Borat Sagdiyev.

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2005 12 14

Telecom Play Espy Friday, Ding Dong NYE, Badminton Tuesday

Fresh from an appearance at the Meredith festivus, TELECOM are gearing up for some shows that have been described by some as "Espy. This Friday night." and "Ding Dong. New Years Eve." (of course TELECOM weren't actually playing MUSIC at Meredith, but it has been confirmed that all four members were present, and had the Tai Chi Master eaten some bad Hari Krishna food and/or been assaulted by the toilet-truck cleaners, TELECOM most likely would have stepped up to the plate and performed, had they also had their instruments [READ: trumpets] and were actually ASKED to perform).

So come and see what you MAY have missed out on with a show this Friday night, December 16 in the Espy Lounge Bar (9PM FREE) with the radalicious DEAD FRENCHMEN and the fo'-shizzle-my-nizzle-fo'-rizzle SPOD. What that means we think Spod only knows (what I'd do without you).

And don't forget TELECOM NYE @ Ding Dong.

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2005 11 17

iAttention Senoritas, Mumma-sitas and Gringos!

Sunday 20th November at Laundry, 50 Johnston Street, Fitrzroy sees THE Festivus for the Restivus come to Fitzroy for the Rock'N'Roll Espanol. Johnston Street between Nicholson and Brunswick Streets will be completely closed off for the Spanish Fiesta so to celebrate, TELECOM (8pm) will be performing some of the "Latin-tinged" tracks from their upcoming EP, and by "Latin-tinged" we mean "totally guitar-based."

Also playing from 4pm are The General Lees, silence dead silence, Dane Certificate, Andre, Describe Eliza and The Basics. So at the risk of offending, let us just say that bendecos and albondingas will all agree that post-siesta, the only way to spend a Domingo afternoon is drinking Sangria and ice cold Estrella Damm, while sampling the finest tapas, paella, chorizo and enchiladas on offer.

And as far as we know, there will be NO Mexican food or Corona.

Political Prisoner Tony Montana*.

*OK, so he was Cuban, but he SPOKE Spanish

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2005 11 08

Telecom @ Weekender Ding Dong Saturday November 12

TELECOM are returning to the shire of Ding Dong after many moon(s) hauling ring in the ROCK mines of Mor-anything?moreeverything!-dor. They will soon emerge from the darkness, rub their eyes in disbelief, and thrust their collective staffs like Gandalf, Frodo, Sleepy, Bashful, Dumbledore & Sir Bon Jovi III did before them, declaring mightily that a party SHALL NOT PASS by those who brave the forest of Weekender this Saturday eve. The afore mentioned Ding Dongondor is the place, Window headline the Fellowship, Saturday November 12th is the nigh and 9 hours past midday is the time when The Precious will be unleashed into this dimension.

Regards and liberal amounts of unicorn-riding wolves,
Nick TELECOM the Fuscia

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2005 11 04

Telecom @ The Rob Roy Saturday November 5

After a World Title Fight in Sydney during ROCKtober, TELECOM are back to punch above their weight with a 'World Class Rock Show™' at The Rob Roy this Saturday night, 8PM supporting Cannon and The Gear. Also duking it out earlier on in the night will be Plug-In City and Unspoken Things (SA), two other up and coming hot shots with chips on their shoulders and something to prove, who also sting like bees. So as management and trainers alike massage their silky-dressing-gown clad shoulders and whisper motivational slogans in their ears, TELECOM (in the red corner, boxing at 10PM) are spitting into a bucket, putting their mouth guard back in and punching their fists together with absolute rage; having decided that this time:

...It's Personal.

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2005 10 31

Telecom On Myspace Redux

Due to technical difficulties with our old Myspace profile, and after months of inaction from Tom -- yes, THE Tom -- TELECOM have been forced to start afresh:

Yes, it's the profile that's so good, they had to name it twice.

Please feel free to re-friend or friend for the first time.

Keep the comments tasteful, watch me for the changes and remember to tip your waitress.

Reginald P. Cheeseburger, QC
Acting for Shane Connor of no fixed address

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2005 10 11

Prodigal Telecom Returns

After successful shows in Sydney over the weekend at Club 77, Mandarin Club and the Enchantment Under The Sea Dance, rock band TELECOM continue their world tour of Sydney in their home town of Melbourne.

Joining them as a rare treat are touring partners (nothing sexual) Pinky Tuscadero and The Valentinos for what promises to be a show to get excited about. So whether you like your milk, chocolate, or your cousin Marvin Berry is looking for a new sound, well listen to this!

Regards and Eat Lead, Slackers,
Mr. Strickland

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2005 10 04

Telecom World Tour of Sydney 2005

That's right kids, its ROCK-TOBER so let's all hold hands and be thankful to Our Non-denominational Saviour one time (shamon, hee hee!) for a truly Blessed Event, the band -- TELECOM -- are coming to Sydney.

Praise alcohol, and hush my mouth, because on Thursday 6th of Rockt. 8PM at Club 77 (number, um, 77 William St Kings Cross) the band -- TELECOM -- play their first Sydney Show, and basically, their first show outside of Melbourne's CBD. Come and revel in the first-time-ness of it all, and see what Melbourne has known all along: the band -- INX... er TELECOM.

But what's that you say? Don't really wanna party on a school night? Well fret not ladies and men because Saturday the 8th of Rockt. sees the Mandarin Club (corner Pitt and Goulburn Sydney) also welcome the band -- TELECOM -- for the first WEEKEND show outside of Melbourne. Again, revel in the whole first-time-ness of it all, etc, etc. Joining them on Saturday are Sydney's own Pinky Tuscadero, The Mares and fellow Melburnians Kids From Russia, three (3) shit hot bands in their own right.

NB: Those of you in Melbourne wishing to attend, contact for massive discounts on airfares. Just mention this ad and say "TELECOM's gonna rock yr ass off MuthaFucka!" for your 50% discount*

*discounts will not be honoured.

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2005 09 19

Telecom @ Ding Dong Wednesday September 21

TELECOM, as a collective whole, would simply LOVE to take this opportunity to inform you of the rarest of events: a mid-week Ding Dong show, 9PM Wednesday September 21st, baby. Joined by The Beings and Redletter (amongst others), this will be the Official Welcoming Show for new-ish drummer, Blake Williams as we can only NOW be sure he knows all of the parts to Darren's funk-fusion-celtic-metal-ballad song.

The cover charge for this event is $6, and potential patrons should be advised that upon entry you will be asked to nominate the specific band you have come to see. As your answer directly affects how much -- if any -- of your $6 that we see, it is at this point that we would like you to refer back to your training and clearly annunciate the word "TELECOM", inclusive of all relevant stresses, emphases and tongue clicks.

Thanks in advance, your pals, TELECOM.

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2005 09 12

Telecom @ The Tote Wednesday September 14

TELECOM mania is sweeping the nation faster than you can say 'Meep-Meep' so to commemorate, they play a unique and very-welcome-mid-week-distraction-from-the-hardships-of-life-and-such show at The Tote Wednesday, September 14 at 8pm. Joining them will be other up and coming sexy young sweet gorgeous thangs Noise Radio and Dead Frenchmen.

All three bands have awesome new recordings to flog, so come down and get one on the cheap, leaving you free to then piss off home and listen to it there.

Is That A Website In Our Pocket Or Are We Just Happy to See You?

After months of campaigning to have forty-eight hours added to the infinitely-approaching time period of "soon", belatedly, yes, TELECOM has finally given birth to a website. Weighing in at 7lb 5oz, the new TELECOM website is yours to browse, download from, subscribe to or just poke at in completely inappropriate places. Whatever you do though, DON'T PRESS THE ORANGE BUTTON. It doesn't work.

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Stay tuned for upcoming shows.


Album released September 11, 2010


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