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TELECOM ANNOUNCEMENT

2011 08 22

'Prepare To Die' An 'Uninspired Jerk-Off' - Pitchfork

After receiving mostly positive reviews for debut album Prepare To Die in all the publications that matter, with Pitchfork calling Prepare To Die a "particularly uninspired Ween jerk-off", TELECOM are gearing up for the release of their sophomore set (tentatively titled Rubber Soul) just as soon as there's any studio time available in Australia. In the meantime, TELECOM headline this Friday August 26 at the Victoria Hotel in Brunswick, with support from two other great bands, LUNARS and MARCH OF THE REAL FLY (SYD). Should you require any more information, just Google "Telecom prepare jerk off".

Regards,
Torville and Dean Ween

Playing times: TELECOM MARCH OF THE REAL FLY (SYD) LUNARS

23:30 - 00:15 22:30 - 23:10 21:45 - 22:15

FREE entry, $10 Prepare To Die gatefold CDs + bonus copy of debut EP Modern Adventures available on the night.

P.S. Please help our friends around the country and the world who have been slammed by natural disasters in 2011 by donating to the Red Cross Help Captain Planet Get His Shit Together Appeal.

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2011 05 23

Mention Of Hangin' With Mr. Cooper Distracts From Free Album Giveaway

TELECOM share many things with The Cheats. Instruments, a sense of style, riffs, electricity bills, ex-girlfriends, Hepatitis C, cigar ends, songs on the Underbelly soundtrack and a love of Danish Dogma films aren't any of these things. What they do share is a drummer (in Tom "The Coop" Cooper) and a taste for partying. So come support the Car-Pooling For Drummers Initiative as both bands appear on the best double headlining bill of the weeekend at the Marquis Of Lorne this Sunday afternoon May 29 from 5pm. Having a hangover on Monday has potentially, never been more fun. Except for that new Hangover movie. That looks pretty good.

In other news, due to a glitch that aligns our lack of interest in our own music with that of the music blogosphere at large, you can now have TELECOM's debut album Prepare To Die for FREE from our bandcamp shop. It comes with two bonus tracks not available on CD. For those who still like to touch their music as well as being touched by it, you can still purchase physical Prepare To Die gatefold CDs online or at shows.

In memorium,
Arnold Schwarzenegger's dignity
1947 - 1962

Playing times: TELECOM The Cheats

18:00 - 19:00 17:00 - 18:00

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2011 04 12

Telecom Continue Career As Bottom Rung On Step-Ladder To Success

Oh hi Mark,

TELECOM have played with various bands in their illustrious six year career, bands that often continue on to greatness and send TELECOM back to the leather jacket store, questioning chord choice and contemplating adding a 'The' to their name. Always a sucker for humiliation/a challenge, TELECOM continue this trend of, you guessed it, playing with other bands this Saturday night at The Cornish Arms. Does this mean THE NAXALITES could be the next BUFFALO TOM, 78 SAAB, CHILDREN COLLIDE, THE TEMPER TRAP, ART BRUT, YIS, DAVE GRANEY, EVEN, FIRE, SANTA ROSA! FIRE, HOSS, MUSCLES, BUILT TO SPILL, LOVE OF DIAGRAMS or SPOD? Most likely!

Best wishes,
Seymour Stein

Playing times:

THE NEW BLACK THE NAXALITES TELECOM

23:10 - 23:50 22:10 - 22:50 21:10 - 21:50

FREE entry, $10 Prepare To Die gatefold CDs + bonus copy of debut EP Modern Adventures available on the night.

P.S. Please help our friends around the country and the world who have been slammed by natural disasters in 2011 by donating to the Red Cross Help Captain Planet Get His Shit Together Appeal.

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2011 03 25

Looks So Good, Make A Grown Man Cry: Sweet Telecom Pie

Dear Baby,

There was a time when rock was king and all anyone wanted on a Saturday night was to soil their dignity in Melbourne's unholy trinity of rock dives. At the pointy end of that triangle was Cherry Bar. A place where even an ironic sports jacket was considered an affront to their no-suits/all-leather dress code.

Fast forward eight years and rock is dead, Friday is the new Saturday and come Sunday morning the only thing soiled is the baby. But that's all changing for one special weekend. This Saturday TELECOM prop up rock's corpse, Weekend-At-Bernie's style for a special show re-imagining the New-Rock movement as an unsuccessful late-90s post-grunge grunge band. Think Bush playing Fuel covers while Collective Soul tunes their instruments to drop D. Sound interesting? Rock never died, man. It committed suicide in 1997.

Regards,
Second Dan

Playing times:

SOCIETY OF BEGGARS TELECOM THE SCARECROWS

22:45 - 23:30 21:45 - 22:30 20:45 - 21:30

$13 entry, $10 Prepare To Die gatefold CDs + bonus copy of debut EP Modern Adventures available on the night.

P.S. Please help our friends around the country and the world who have been slammed by natural disasters in 2011 by donating to the Red Cross Help Captain Planet Get His Shit Together Appeal.

2011 02 24

Telecom BYO LOLs To DIY Acronym Stand-Off. RSVP on FB FTW. THX-1138.

Telecom return to the Tote this Saturday night in support of local garage-rock sensations YIS who are launching their excellent debut album Kingdom Of Fuzz. Also playing on the night are Ouch My Face (OMF) and fellow DIY BYO acronyms TRJAEU. LOLs begin at 20:00.

Be sure to get there early to avoid disappointment as the Facebook Event Page indicates over 250 confirmed attendees, which means 13 people are definitely thinking of actually coming if something better doesn't happen before 19:55 Saturday night.

Playing times:

YIS OUCH MY FACE TELECOM TRJAEU

23:30 - 00:30 22:30 - 23:10 21:30 - 22:10 20:30 - 21:10

$10 entry, $10 Prepare To Die gatefold CDs + bonus copy of debut EP Modern Adventures available on the night. The Doors on at 20:00.

You can also now find online a now complete gig archive of every show Telecom has played, along with poster artwork available for purchase as prints and more from Red Bubble.

Kindest regards,
Ruck Weekmun

P.S. Our thoughts are with our friends in New Zealand following Tuesday's devastating earthquake in Christchuch. You can help by giving generously to the New Zealand Red Cross Earthquake Appeal.

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2011 01 20

Telecom Go To Iowa And All They Get Are These Lousy T-Shirts

Telecom support local hunks Iowa in the second instalment of their January Sunday mini-residency at Yah Yah's this Sunday, January 23, 2011.

Limited edition-of-50 second-pressing Prepare To Die albums for sale on the night for $10. This edition comes complete with bonus gravitas and is printed on recycled stock to match Telecom's recycled riffs.

Playing times:
IOWA 2030 - 2110
Telecom 1935 - 2015
MASS CULT 1850 - 1920
LIAM STEWART 1820 - 1840

Doors Open at 1730. Free Entry (Facebook Event Page).

In other news, following in the footsteps of rapper Sean Combs, 'country'-singer Taylor Swift and Darren's cousin Maroon 5 'rocker' Adam Levine, Telecom are proud to announce they are launching their own fashion label/have finally made some T-Shirt... designs.

Just in time for Christmas 2012 you can now order T-Shirts and Hoodies featuring a variety of new and classic Telecom-themed designs from our page at Red Bubble. Red Bubble is "a marketplace, meeting place and learning place of people, art and writing from all over the place". All items are produced using American Apparel stock which we are told is sweatshop-free, gluten-free and soft. All designs can also be purchased as stickers.

Behold, a handful of what is on offer:

Also, as mentioned above, we have re-stocked our sold-out (when did we sell out?? good question; send your answers to Where Did All the Albums Go? @ switchboard@telecomlovesyou.com) first run of Prepare To Die gatefold CDs. You can pick one up at a show for $10 with a bonus copy of debut EP Modern Adventures or you can do the un-Australian thing and buy online/put Gerry Harvey out of business. Alternatively, you can still download Prepare to Die from telecom.bandcamp.com, iTunes or amazon.com.

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2011 01 16

Prepare To Die Un-dies. Undies?

We have re-stocked our inventory of Prepare To Die gatefold CDs. This limited edition second-pressing of 50 is printed on recycled stock to match the recycled riffs contained on the CD within. Head to the shop to buy online/put Gerry Harvey out of business. Alternatively, you can still download Prepare to Die from telecom.bandcamp.com, iTunes or amazon.com.

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2011 01 02

Telecom: Sell Outs Even As Sell Outs

We may have sold out (or given away or lost or sold out!) the run of 150 limited-edition hand-numbered Prepare To Die CDs. You can still download Prepare to Die from telecom.bandcamp.com, iTunes or amazon.com.

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